Jokes
Remember to give any new jokes to Mrs Williamson, who will then put them on the website!
George's dad asks him one day, "Do you know what the hat said to the scarf?"
"No, daddy, I don't," replies George.
"You hang around while I go on ahead," says his dad.
One Sunday, Emma's grandpa asks her a question, "Do you know what one eye said to the other eye?"
"No," said Emma.
It said, "Between you and me, something smells?"
One day at school, Max was talking to his best friend David.
"David, have you heard the joke about the dustbin lorry?"
"No I haven't," replied David.
"Don't worry," said Max, "It's only a load of rubbish."
Little Naomi said to her mum, "Mum, what's got four legs and one foot?"
"I don't know," said her mum.
"A bed."
One day, Charlotte went up to her dad and said, "Dad, I want to play our piano but I can't open the lid."
"Of course you can't," said her dad, "The keys are inside."
Leah asked her dad, "Do you know what happened when the lion ate the comedian?"
"No, I don't, darling."
"He felt funny."
One day, Sam was out walking with his dad.
Sam says, "Do you know what runs but never walks, dad?"
"I don't know, Sam."
"Water."
One Sunday, David was with his parents on a boat on the river Thames. His dad asked him, "What do you think sea monsters eat, David?"
"I don't know, dad."
"Fish and ships."
One breakfast time, Rebecca said to her mum, "What two things can't you have for breakfast, mum?"
"I don't know?"
"Lunch and dinner, of course."
What does a footballer and a magician have in common ?
Both do hat tricks !
Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear ?
Because he liked sole music !
Why aren't football stadiums built in outer space ?
Because there is no atmosphere !
What do you call a man who wears tissue paper trousers ?
Russell !
What do you call a fish on the dining table ?
A Plaice Mat !
What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill?
Answer: Pack your trunk and clear out.
What runs but never walks?
Answer: Water
Why did Ken put his trumpet in the fridge?
Answer: Because he likes cool music.
By Jake
How do you make varnish disappear?
Answer: Take away the R.
By Jake
Why did the child eat his homework?
Answer: Because he thought it was a piece of cake!
By Luke
What do you call a flying elephant?
Answer: A jumbo jet.
By Carla
When is the best time to buy budgies?
Answer: When they are going cheap.
By Carla
What is orange and sounds like a parrot?
Answer: A carrot
By Carla
What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangeroo?
Answer: A wolly jumper
By Sam
What is a snake's favourite subject?
Answer: Hisstory
By Robin
What did the snake do when she had a cold?
Answer: She had to Viper nose.
By Nick
How do you make a party in space?
Answer: You plan it.
By Josh
What kind of flower grows between your nose and chin?
Answer: Tulips.
By Amelia
Why did the pig walk over the centipede?
Answer: To get bacon and legs.
By William
Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben down and tie your shoelaces.
By Ben and Abigail
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
Answer: To get to the second hand shop.
by Lewis
What do you call a bear without any ears?
Answer: B!
By Connor
What did the traffic light say to the car?
Answer: Don't look, I'm changing.
By Connor